The Has-Beens

I read the papers every day, and oft encounter tales which show there's hope for every jay who in life's battle fails.

I've just been reading of a gent who joined the has-been ranks, at fifty years without a cent, or credit at the banks.

But undismayed he buckled down, refusing to be beat, and captured fortune and renown; he's now on Easy Street.

Men say that fellows down and out ne'er leave the rocky track, but facts will show, beyond a doubt, that has-beens do come back. I know,
for I who write this rhyme, when forty-odd years old, was down and out, without a dime, my whiskers full of mold.

By black disaster I was trounced until it jarred my spine; I was a failure so pronounced I didn't need a sign. And after I had soaked my coat, I said (at forty-three), "I'll see if I can catch the goat that has escaped from me."

I labored hard; I strained my dome, to do my daily grind, until in triumph I came home, my billy-goat behind.

And any man who still has health may with the winners stack, and have a chance at fame and wealth--for has-beens do come back.